Strangely, this week I felt like delving once more into the old unaddressed sadness I have about my dad leaving us. So I’ve combined those feelings into this beautiful Frank Ocean song in my latest Poem2.
There will be tears2
There will be tears I’ve no doubt, there will be smiles, but a few.
A pain is coming from without, resenting a smile I maybe never knew.
And when those tears run out, we’ll be numb and blue.
As the desert becomes my heart, I’ll lay still until the dark of the moon.
I can’t be there with you…but I can dream, I still dream.
My granddaddy was a player, pretty boy in a pair of gators.
Like you, fair skinned –exotic to your own – refined in all his layers.
See I met him later on, I think it was 1991.
An impression left on me, like you – replaceable to no son.
The only dad I’d ever known, but pretty soon he’d be gone (too).
The only one, and not one. On borrowed time for his love too?
Hide my face, can’t let them see me crying,
I shelter a fragile window from a cold wind trying.
‘Cause these boys didn’t have no father’s neither, and they weren’t crying.
What gives me the right? Is my pain worse? I still lay still – not writhing.
Will there be tears?
My friend said it wasn’t so bad, you can’t miss what you’ve never had, well I can, and I’m sad.
There will be tears.
‘I can’t be there’, that’s all you had to say to me was…
Life isn’t fair.
Why couldn’t you say to me, you won’t be there,
Gone with the pretense.
You could of warned me, you wouldn’t be here…right here.
What’s your name in past tense?
No, you wouldn’t be here for me.
Alpha Cauwenbergh < Frank Ocean
I would also like to add a link to a short autobiographical prose I wrote a few months ago on the same subject matter incase you haven’t read it. Something different – an autobiographical piece.
© Alpha Maurice Cidade Cauwenbergh – Storyteller, Poet & Intern at Wordsmith Inc 2015. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Alpha Maurice Cidade Cauwenbergh – Storyteller, Poet & Intern at Wordsmith Inc with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.